oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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