She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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