the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
