I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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