used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
