idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We have started to decorate penises.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
