I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
