He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
