I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize