Pappa wants mamma naked
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
