When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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