The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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