Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
