I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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