Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
