she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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