She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize