she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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