its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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