the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He shit in the fireplace
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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