How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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