Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize