if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
