It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
