it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
