at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
