apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
