But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
