my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize