just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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