Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
