Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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