I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just saw a hot homeless man
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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