Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
