it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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