i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
