I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
