JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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