i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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