Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize