Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
