My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
