how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
