that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
