Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
