I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
