i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
