I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
