Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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