were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ladies don't puke and tell
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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