I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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