id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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