dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is my gift to your gina
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
