Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
...so i touched it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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