whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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