Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
