we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
