you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
