i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw