I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.