I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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