the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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