you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
