The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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