woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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